Facebook Who?

I've been on the Facebook train for awhile now. It got big when I was still in college, and as soon as it was open to my college (because this was before it was open to anyone but college students), I was the first to sign up. I even signed up for them to send me an email if/when they opened it to students at my school. You could say I was a pioneer of Facebook. You could say that.

What I wasn't prepared for is how Facebook has infiltrated my dating life. I mean, if we really think about it, Facebook is dumb and awesome at the same time. It's an invitation to allow people to know all about your life and show them the very best pictures of yourself you've ever taken. Or pictures of you at bars. I also saw some girls at my library taking pictures in front of the palm trees in the library the other day. I think we all know those weren't for their scrapbook entitled "I Love the Library!"

But I digress. Back to Facebook. When I meet someone, I'm pretty lackadaisical about it. I figure if they want to see me again, they'll find a way to do it. If they want to talk to me again, they'll get my email from someone. But it never ceases to fascinate me that Facebook is now the method to make contact. I understand it's kind of the safe way out, kind of like "We should hang out some time" is the safe way of going on a maybe date with someone. I get that.

What I don't get is when people who are friends of a friend want to "friend" me. They send me friend request messages like, "Hey, I'm friends with Kevin! Where in Italy are you from?". Maybe that shouldn't weird me out, but it does. I think it's the term "friend". They want to be my friend on Facebook. But we're not friends! I know it's a looser connotation of the word, but come on. We don't hang out on weekends. I don't snort when I laugh in front of you. We don't even talk about how much I love cleaning supplies. I mean, we should at least reach that level in order for me to be all confirming we're friends.

In fact, I think that's a standard we should all demand of our friends. The kind of knowledge that goes beyond friend of a friend or familiar face. It could be a prerequisite to confirm:

"STOP! Before you proceed, do you know at least one (1) of the following things about this person?
A. What are their favorite cleaning supplies?
B. What are their feelings on Scrabble (online or board versions)?
C. How many pairs of shoes do they own?
D. Do they like You've Got Mail a lot (maybe too much...)?
E. Do they do embarrassing things all the time?

I'm just saying. If you know the answers, raise your hand. If you don't, raise your standards.